The loneliness is not necessarily about being alone

Senior leaders are rarely alone. They may spend their days surrounded by people: executive teams, colleagues, clients, advisors, employees, board members and stakeholders. But being surrounded by people is not the same as having a place where you can put down the role. There is a difference between having people to talk to and having someone with whom you can think. Someone who does not immediately need an answer from you. Someone who can listen without turning your uncertainty into a problem to be solved. Someone who can challenge your assumptions without competing with you. Someone who can ask the question that others may hesitate to ask. Someone with whom you don’t have to protect the organization, your team or your own image of being in control. This is where something important happens. When there is no such space, leaders can begin processing everything internally. They carry the questions alone. They rehearse difficult conversations in their heads. They revisit decisions after everyone else has gone home. They sense that something is not working, but cannot quite articulate what it is. They know they need to make a change, but are not yet clear about what the change should be. And sometimes, the hardest part is simply having nowhere to put the thought while it is still unfinished.